See Your Face In Every Sunrise

I am currently in late night worship at Soul Survivor and something in one of the songs really hit me. I felt like a train had run right into me. I can not look past it. In the song, the lyric was ‘I see Your face in every sunrise’. Now the question I am currently asking myself is, do I? And the answer is no, to be honest. I really do not. Sometimes the first thing I think of in the morning is not Jesus, it is the hectic day ahead, the mayhem and chaos. Is this how it should be? Again no. We are very lucky to know that Jesus is there 24 hours, 7 days a week even when He is in the deepest depth of our brain and we can not see Him he is right there. Mornings can be some what stressful, usually very rushed because we could not get out of bed. The amount of times I have literally jumped out of bed because I have hardly any time to get ready, well I certainly can not count them on one hand and truth Jesus is the last thing on my mind. But He should not be. There should always be time for Jesus. Even just a quick ‘Morning Jesus’ will do the trick, almost like a quick text message to a friend to wish them a good day. The point is that Jesus should be at the forefront of our minds. Jesus sees the busyness, He gets it. But by having a chat with Jesus in the morning will lead to a day filled and blessed. Start the morning right and you will start to see Jesus a lot more in your life. 
Much love and God Bless
Amelia-Jane ūüíó

But Why Are We Afraid?

Okay, so you understand that Jesus’ love is never failing, well most of the time. Next, right now, honestly ask yourself the question- why am I afraid of the future, the present and all the other problems that we face everyday when we know that Jesus’ love is never failing? Got me as well, truthly it is a tough one. Truth is, we do not have enough trust. As humans we seem to be in a cycle of not trusting things as much as we should. But trusting God will 100% not leave you in a deep pit where you feel stuck. Sometimes we may believe we are in a pit even with Jesus by our side, maybe He went on holiday for a couple of days or has some other business to attend to. But no, that is not how Jesus works, He is always there for you. He will provide that ladder when we are in that deep pit of fear of the future. He will never leave you stranded. 

Trusting is a big thing and often a big risk but not trusting Jesus is a even bigger risk. Even if you do not do anything else today start asking Jesus to help you trust Him more because when you do life will not seem as frightening and his light and love will wipe out all fear. 

Much love and God Bless 

Amelia-Jane ūüíó 

When Hope Seems To Have Vanished

Hope, I had it and so did my Church. We often all have hope but very soon it is snatched away. Our fears, our losses and our trials slowly strip away at the hope we have until it is all gone. But the truth is the hope is never gone. The hope is Jesus, he never fails and He will never leave us. When all seems broken, broken into millions of fragmented pieces, we have to try our hardest to remember that we are never alone. Jesus is hope, our hope even when we have forgotten what hope is, when it is blurred and hidden. 
My hope, along with the rest of my church, vanished yesterday when we heard the terrible news about our absolutely amazing vicar, Simon. He was a man so full of Jesus, an inspiration to all who knew him. Although he was not at St Johns for a long time, that time he was there we were greatly blessed. He was a man of knowledge, wisdom and love. His words had great impact and his smile brought great joy. He was a true disciple of God, a brother in Christ and friend of Jesus. 

Jesus brings back the hope we lost yesterday. He collects are tears and turns them into memories. In wave after wave, Jesus the light in the darkness restores our hope. We might not understand why our hope was stripped away and why we lost such a special person but maybe we do not have to. We just have to have trust and faith in Jesus that God’s plan is beautiful. 

Jesus can restore our hope. 

God bless Simon and use him for he is special. 

Much love and God Bless

Daughter of God ūüíó

Steadfast Love

It is often difficult for us to believe that anyone could love us through everything we do. It is easy for someone to love us when we do good but we certainly begin to question whether they could still love us when we do bad. Friends and family are very likely to love no matter what, you can be almost certain, but one person who’s love is always assured is God’s. His love; is steadfast, it is unending, it is never failing. Although we should be living our life as Jesus would, we all know the phrase ‘What would Jesus do?’, but that does not stop us sometimes from making mistakes. We are human and right back to Adam and Eve we have been making choices that do not please God. It is important to try and live as well as possible, radiating Jesus through all we do but through all God loves us. He might be thinking ‘oh, why are you doing that’ but like the unfailing love of a parent, or family member or life long best friend His love does not stop. His love is not weaker or lesser when we fail, in fact it is stronger. He holds us and protects us. Sometimes it is so hard to comprehend that no matter what we do, whether we; hurt ourselves, hurt someone else, sin, you name it, all this corrupt world throws at us, God has loved us yesterday, God loves us today and God will love us forever. No matter how much we sing about it and read about why do we not believe it?
Even if you are struggling today, let that be the thing that gets you through… God loves you, no matter what. 

Peace, love and God bless
Daughter of God ūüíó

Power of Prayer

No, you are NOT rubbish at prayer. Yes, sometimes we may feel our prayers should be better composed or more eloquent, yet often we can not even think of words and a sentence what on earth is that? Well here it is, God does not expect you to be an English professor. In fact he does not care what it sounds like; a beautiful melody, a rap song, a load of jumbled letters like alphabet spaghetti. Basically whatever it is, whatever it comes out as God understands. God is smart, He can discern every thought, cry, dream… everything that beams from our minds, hearts and mouths. 

Often we can feel like our prayers will not help anything, our lack of diversity in a tame vocabulary does not allow for “good prayers” or that is what we think. Summatively, God holds no assessment for the quality of our prayers, to him are prayers are not on a scale, each, no matter how it is expressed, is special. Believe in your prayers, believe that no matter how it sounds God understands and He is listening. 

Prayer is powerful. Yours prayers are powerful. God listens to every syllable. It is the best way to have a conversation with God. However, take a second to notice the word ‘conversation’, all prayers are powerful but prayers become more powerful when we listen to Him. Prayer is more about talking, it is about listening too. Learning to listen is challenging and something we have to take big steps and make changes to achieve this, you are not alone, but when you do your prayers will become conversations to the most powerful. 

If you are praying about it, God is working on it. 
Much love and God Bless,
Daughter of God ūüíó

How Can I Love God But Hate Myself?

Hmmm… that is a tough one really. How can I love God but hate myself? I know I am far from being on my own in this situation. A lot of people, Christians and non-Christians, dislike who they are; their height, their weight, their shape, their size, their hair… the list could go on. I am not going to even go into the things that I would change about myself, quite frankly the list would be long, boring and well I am not writing this for people to feel sorry for me. In this world today, media dominates a large proportion of it. It is every where, no matter which way you turn. It is like a wasp and it seems that every time you even attempt to waft it away it comes right back. Training to be a teacher and previously being a youth leader, I have even seen instances from young ages where young children even feel like they have to conform in a certain way; it is truly heart-breaking to be quite frank. What 8 year-old should have to feel like they do not look the right way and should have to follow the “laws” of image?¬† Personally, I go day in and day out of not feeling like I love the way I look.¬†Although it plays on my mind a lot, it came to light yesterday the way I feel when talking to a friend.¬†I often despise looking in the mirror and seeing pictures of myself is often horrible. In the past I have been out with friends and¬†we take a group picture, I am mortified when I look back at it, I see everyone else looking lovely and then I see¬†me, I can not look past it, and for me when¬†I tell people that I¬†do not like it can¬†we¬†take¬†another¬†is hard. But sometimes¬†I feel misunderstood, I do not do it to get complements by no means and I do not¬†do it for the¬†attention… I genuinely hate the¬†way I look on it.¬†I look at others and think I want to be them, I want to look like her, I have to look this way to be accepted by males. When I think about it, it is truly ridiculous. Why should anyone have to go through their lives feeling like this?

But how and where¬†does God fit into this? Either you are asking this about yourself or wondering how people, like myself, can manage to have a relationship with Jesus and a faith with God but still manage to have self-hate in life. The answer, albeit not simple can be defined in one word. DIFFICULT. People think that having a faith is easy and I am sure you will agree with me that it is not. Despite it being challenging it is heart-warming to know that God loves us despite all of our flaws and foibles. But for me, where do I stand? How can I stand in God’s embrace when I do not like how I look? God told us that we were made in His image. I have never seen God- but I can safely say that His beauty is so vast that we can not comprehend it, so surely we are? God made every single one of us… He planned it out, He thought so carefully and so intricately. Why can I¬†not understand¬†that, God made me for who I am¬†so why can I¬†not love who I am? Unfortunately, the¬†reason is that the world gets inside us, it allows us to think that we are not beautiful and it allows us to feel awful about ourselves. God on the other¬†hand looks at us from the inside out; he sees emotions, he sees our hearts and he even see our faces and bodies and thinks¬†I love her/him. I pity those (we are all culprits!)¬†who feel like they can look at someone and think¬†‘they are ugly’, ‘they are¬†fat’, ‘they¬†have too many¬†spots’ or ¬†‘there legs are too skinny’, why would you do this, if God the King, can look at everyone upon this Earth and see their beauty why should you not?

I could ramble on for ages, I really could. It is clearly for me a very open wound. I struggle with body-image issues and I constantly fault who I am. But do you ever think that when you look at someone else and think that ‘I want to be them’, they are looking at themselves thinking ‘I hate my legs and my bum, why can I not look like them?’. I have a long way to go before I can except who I am, I am not denying this is easy, far from it. But what¬†I would say is try your very best to see yourself through God’s eyes, not the world’s. Try, again it is very hard, to value who you are, love the person who you are… God sees your beauty and so will the people who love you.

Genesis 1:27 (NIV)- ‘So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them’.

Much love and God Bless

Daughter Of God ‚̧

 

Anxiety and God: How Do They Fit?

Anxiety is a thing that nobody wants to experience, yet soooo many do. It is like a viral infection, it spreads so rapidly. It is that voice that tells you ‘I can not do it’, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am just not worth it’; it happens but can I ever let it go? It feels like a chain dragging me down, deeper and deeper until I drown: it is pain; it is fear; it is doubt. As a Christian with anxiety, I scream for God, I call His name and often it feels like He can not hear me… He can, but when you are deep in that pit of desperation it often feels like I am miles from Him. I want to run into His arms but I feel like a bad Christian, I feel like He will be mad at me for not trusting in Him, for having these awful feelings of self hate and often further. After minutes or sometimes an hour of anxiety I look at myself in disgust! Why would I, a Christian, judge God’s trust, how could I betray such awesome beauty. I take this anger out on others, often family, I get mad and find myself arguing with them… I do not mean too and I am not mad at them, I am just so angry at myself… Will I ever learn from this lesson? 
I, personally, have a long way to go, miles in fact in getting over this anxiety and lack of trust, but I truly believe in ‘if you fall down 7 times, stand up 8’. Jesus died for us on the cross so we can have chance after chance; we should not take this for granted but we can try and redeem ourselves. One of my best friends, whom I go to when I am really struggling, often questions me ‘have you prayed?’… damn it! In the midst of the state of panic I forgot to pray? How stupid can I be! God is probably looking at me thinking ‘pray, I will not leave your side’. How can I be so stubborn to forget God, He is holding my hand and I cannot even remember to thank Him! But the Lord loves me, He loves you. He is not mad. He wants us to invite Him in. He has felt pain through Jesus on the cross. He understands what we are going through. We are not alone, no matter how alone we feel. 
One day, I will be able to kick anxiety in the face… it will probably be many days, years in fact… but through it all I know God will be with me, and He will be with you too. He loves you, yes little you! He adores you. You are His child and it kills Him to see you cry, but He will never love you any less, He will never be angry at you, He will never be disappointed. 
Pray, read your Bible, talk to a friend, go out and pursue a hobby, what ever is that helps you and God combined rip off those chains that are drowning you. 

You will get through this, and when you do you will be so proud of yourself and God will be so proud of you. 

Philippians 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Song: Will Reagan- Break Every Chain

Much love and God bless
Daughter of God ‚̧